Carl Everett

This signing at first made me quite sick to my stomach.

I'm sure we all remember incidents such as the one at the immediate right of this paragraph. I'm sure we all remember the Child Neglect charges. And I'm sure we all remember the Moyer Incident.

But all in all, it's not the worst signing this offseason. Sure, Everett doesn't believe in dinosaurs (How do you not believe in dinosaurs? What the hell are fossils then!?), and he did struggle, that's true: .251/.311/.435 is far from an impressive line. His defense is in the crapper, and his offense is deteriorating, so why isn't this a horrible signing?

Contract details and the ballpark. One year and $3.4 million dollars is a short term commitment for a small enough amount of money that it can't hurt us financially now or later, and if he hits, great. And as far as the park goes, Carl Everett was made for this park. As a lefty pull hitter, Safeco's short Right Field porch will suit him nicely. If I was a betting man, I'd say there's an over 75% chance that if given regular playing time as our DH, Carl Everett will hit over 20 Homers.

It's a low risk, "High" reward contract. Worst case scenario, he hits .230/.280/.400 and he's gone in July. Best case scenario, he hits .270/.330/.460 and launches around 25 longballs. It may put below-average Ibanez in left, but hitters that have 790 OPS's are good to have on any team. He's no superstar, but he's a solid role player. The length leaves us free to look into next year's free agent crop too, so it's a flexible move. Bavasi's made some dumb moves as our GM, but I'd say this one gets a "C". Not good, but it won't tear the team apart--team chemistry's over rated anyway.

Either way--let's all pray that option doesn't get vested!